Blogging with Effy Day Ten

There are two amazing books that I read my daughter.

The Book with No Pictures, by B.J. Novak and The Mine-O-Saur by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen.

Scratch that- three. The Monster at the End of the Book is a family tradition as well.

My father purchased the first one for my daughter for either Christmas or her birthday several years ago, and it has easily become a family favorite.

There’s a part of me that wants to tell you what that book is about, but there’s also this part of me that wants you to go find it and read it aloud, without expectation, to someone you love.

I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

I will stick with that decision and nudge you, oh wandering reader, to find this magic and embrace it. See what unfolds.

The second book I can gladly tell you is all about what happens when we are selfish. It’s a moral of the story situation when I read this to my daughter, but it also prompts me to use my silly voice that makes her fall into a fit of giggles, which I adore profusely. Her fit of giggles triggers mine, and we laugh like this- rebounding off of each other’s joy.

Her laughter is a straight shot of sunlight to my heart, so I aim to offer her opportunities to delight me with that joy as often as possible, which is a daily goal of mine.

Even when we disagree, which, when you’re a parent of a seven-year-old you find yourself face to face with many opportunities for that, I find a way to ease the tension with a smile or a chuckle. It always makes things better.

I’m thinking on the Mine-O-Saur and its application to adult humans, particularly the human that stares back at me from across the mirror.

I think on how I have been greedy in needing. How in that energy of my interactions I have left myself abandoned. How, when I move to a place of sharing, I am not alone.

This pops up another book, which is not quite my favorite, but it also makes my daughter laugh, so I will bring this into the theme of things that make her giggle. This book is called Just One More. Don’t ask me the author on this one because it’s lost under a stack of books I’m unwilling to search through.

*rolls eyes*

Being in recovery, there is so much deeper meaning to this book for me, it’s laughable.

I mean, kids can be insatiable, right?

My problem, as an adult in recovery, is that I’ve been walking around with this wounded child within. Hungry. Greedy. Needing attention.

Wanting just one more out of a deficit. And that’s coming from a place of almost seventeen years sober.

See… I told you- deeper than a children’s book, right?

In the past twenty-four hours, I’ve been asked multiple times how much sober time I have, as a prerequisite. I can’t tell you what the prerequisite is for, but it is something of great importance to me.

It brings me back to my Rider, and asking for what I desire. It brings me back to thinking on what I’ve settled for in the name of connection without respecting my own boundaries linked to expectations and standards. Because, love, right?

*rolls eyes*

I know better, which means I need to do better moving forward.

I can’t be all grabby at things that don’t belong to me. That don’t serve, even if they feel good. And sometimes they feel really good.

I have to ask, “What am I willing to allow?” And more importantly, “Why am I willing to allow this- why am I not requiring some prerequisites to be no-brainers and dealbreakers? Why am I allowing too much wiggle room?”

This showed up very powerfully for me yesterday and moved me to a place of considering what I am allowing into the sacred space of my desires that may not belong. That may not be serving the Highest Good.

Why can’t I just be a fleshy human being doing fleshy human being things without thoughts of remorse?

Because, fortunately for me, I have taken up a practice of facing moments of silence to take accountability. To hold myself to a higher standard for the Higher/Highest Good.

And Just One More ain’t working for me.

And that is that.

11 thoughts on “Blogging with Effy Day Ten

  1. roseinvermont says:

    The Book with No Pictures is the BEST!!!! And I am so impressed with how you find learning and support all around you, I think it is always there if we are open to seeing it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sandra says:

    I love the book with no pictures so much! I don’t even know if we own a copy of it, but I think that needs to be rectified even if my youngest kiddo is 11. 🙂

    As for the wounded grabby child. I also resonate with that so much. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lisa Dixon says:

    Love The Book With No Pictures. My niece chooses it every week and says, “Aunt Lisa, you have to read these woooooorrrrddddssss again.” in a little sing-song-y voice. Thanks for sharing

    Like

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